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I’ve been promising to write another weird search terms post for a while, but it hasn’t been easy, weird search terms have been thin on the ground. I’m still wondering why that is. Is it possible internet users are becoming more sensible? Surely not.  Anyhoo, it’s taken some time, and these terms are not as weird as others I’ve featured here, but they are a bit random, if not always odd.

Oh, I haven’t included the term mentioned in this post – it goes beyond weird. I recently told someone what it was, and they pulled a disgusted face and kept saying, ‘oh no, that’s just wrong’. See you don’t want to know, so stop asking! However, I have discovered Germantown is a very small place, and I can’t help but think people must know about this, it doesn’t seem like something you could keep hidden. So, if you’re visiting from there: yes, I do mean him!

Onwards and upwards, possibly ….

do brit guys say they love you differently than americans do?

Yes. They say it while standing on one leg, and wearing their underpants on their head. Oh, and they always sing 15 verses of Rule Britannia beforehand. Obviously British women don’t do that. For a start, we don’t wear underpants, we have knickers, which are very different. No, instead we stick our left finger in our right ear and read the first three chapters of The Hound of the Baskervilles, just to get us in the mood. You can safely assume that if your Brit does not do these things, then he/she is really not that into you. Hope that helps

chaise longue sex video

Firstly, I don’t have such a thing, and secondly, it is very specific isn’t it? I wonder if it has to be a chaise longue, or would a sofa or even an armchair do? I’m also a little concerned about what role the chaise longue plays … so let’s move on.

wildlife silly bands

I don’t even understand what that means. Performing artists with a great love of the natural world?

how do i stop weatherseal contacting me

You can’t. If you have your phone disconnected they’ll contact you by post. If you seal up your letterbox, they’ll send you email. Stop looking at your email, they’ll tweet you; block them on Twitter, they’ll add you on Facebook. There is no escape! If you move to a remote Hebridean island, with no postal service, no phones and no internet, you’ll be contacted by one of their crack team of telepaths who’ll bombard you with dreams of new double glazing. It’s true. It happened to my friend’s mum’s dog’s hairdresser.

deadmouse metropolis

OK, this is weird, and I have no idea what the searcher was hoping to find, but it would make a great title for a book.

meet britain

Umm, ok, hi Britain Once again: what does this mean? Does the searcher want to meet the whole of Britain, and if so, why are they looking here? I haven’t got them! Does this blog really look like the sort of place you could store 60 million people? At the most, I could possibly squeeze a dozen into the admin interface, and even then they’d have to sit on each other’s knees. And of course, plumbing would be a problem because at the time of writing, no one has created a loo plugin for WordPress.

child catcher peter mandelson

See, it’s not just St Jude who thinks that. Mandy really does not come across well.  Seriously Labour, you are going to have to do something about him if you want us to vote for you. Really! He’s just too creepy for words. Why do you think the Prince of Darkness tag caught on so quickly: it’s because we can all too easily believe it to be true! I honestly think Joe Pesci doing a reprisal of his role in Goodfellas would be a better option.

And that’s all!

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