Itisi

I’m stuck for something to post about so I’m resorting to expanding on tweets. I shouldn’t really have told you that, should I? I could have fibbed and told you all it was a fabulous new idea. Hmm.

“@misfitduck I should post a bit of Marilyn Manson and my thoughts about why nappy changing isn’t an interesting topic to blog about lol”

This was part of a thread about me being added to a ‘mom bloggers’ directory. I couldn’t find any videos that weren’t low quality bootlegs, so no Manson (aren’t you disappointed?) but my point stands! Nappy changing; snot; stomach complaints and painful, gory birth stories just don’t make good reading. I can’t imagine why, but trust me, they just don’t. If your toddler regurgitates his breakfast all over your dog every morning, please don’t go into detail about the appearance, texture and smell. It is too much information. Anyone who tells you they do want to know about this stuff is being polite. Really! If they are genuine then they probably aren’t the sort of person you want within 500 yards of your blog.

I’m also a bit bemused about being listed in such a place. I’m not a mom blogger; I’m a mum who blogs. There is a difference! In fact, I find the term rather demeaning; it’s dismissive. It implies mothers with blogs are all pretty much the same and not very interesting – our heads are too full of thoughts of snot and washing powder obviously.

And having brought the ire of proud mom bloggers down on my head (there are lots of them; they stick together and hunt in packs), I move on to mocking the nicest person in Britain …

“Yeah, the words smug, self-promoter come to mind. Also, for a while I thought Myleene Klaas was a cleaning product, really.”

The first part doesn’t apply to Myleene Klaas, but I really did think her name was a brand of cleaning product. This was mostly because I first heard it in the sentence “Ooh, that Myleene Klaas is good”, and I assumed it was actually Mylene Class, something a bit like Cilit Bang, but more upmarket. I still think that works, the advertising jingle could be ‘My-lene, My-lene, gets your win-dows cl-ean’.

Off to see if there’s a blogger protection programme …

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